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Monday, February 25, 2013

Jim will not be in today. He is not feeling himself. Thank y

"Jim will not be in today. He is not feeling himself. Thank you. "THIS MEANS:
1. He doesn't feel the way he usually does.
2. He is not in complete control of his hands.
3. His emotions are shattered.
4. His skin is numb.
5. He has transformed into an alter-ego (i. e. professional wrestler)
6. He is not feeling himself, in a biblical sense.
7. He has been covered in saran-wrap.
8. He is in an isolation tank.
9. He wanted to take a day off but couldn't come up with an actual illness to fake.
10. He is feeling others.:)"

Sent from 20000 Jokes on Android

Friday, February 22, 2013

Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password

9. E-mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy. " 8. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard. 7. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt. recreational. catnip. 6. Your mouse has teeth marks in it... and a strange aroma of tuna. 5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computers, Inc. about their release of "Cyber Dog. " 4. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it. 3. You keep finding new software around your house like Catin Tax and War Cat II. 2. On IRC you're known as the Iron Mouser. and the #1 Sign Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password... 1. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post."

Sent from 20000 Jokes on Android

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

"Did ya hear the news? " asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. "Harrigan drank so much, his wife left him! "
"Bartender! Give me six boilermakers!! "

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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Christmas jokes

'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can't tell me why he does that!''Oh, yes I can.' the elf said.'Because tow 'Eds are better than one, of course!'

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Christmas jokes

"Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie? " "He said it was too tight. "

Sent from 20000 Jokes on Android